


i’ve already found me

by Seito



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Box Animal Meta, Character Study, Coming of Age, Emotions, Families of Choice, Friendship, Gen, Growing Up, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:41:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21983836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seito/pseuds/Seito
Summary: Life is a series of choices. Mourn the what-ifs, the should-haves, the could-haves. Grieve for the forgotten dreams, weep for lost chances, but in the end,stand up and walk tall.
Relationships: Natsu & Sawada Tsunayoshi, Reborn & Sawada Tsunayoshi
Comments: 13
Kudos: 292
Collections: 2019 KHR Winter Remix Fest Round 2: Remixes





	i’ve already found me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Morcai](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morcai/gifts).
  * Inspired by [this is the first time you've been this old](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21275585) by [Morcai](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morcai/pseuds/Morcai). 



It was an unintended side effect.

Back when the Box Animals were being designed, they were supposed to be more free forming. It should have been possible that any animal could have been conceived regardless of Flame type. It was swiftly discovered that for whatever reason, that certain animals favored certain Flames. The large and bulky animals preferred Lightning Flames. Aquatic animals for Rain Flames. But even then there were oddities. Jiro and Kojiro was a prime example.

Koengi, Innocenti, and Verde puzzled over it for years, but like many things, it was chalked up to a simple coincidence. So certain animals favored certain type of Flames. It was hardly a big deal and they continued on with the templates they made.

When they finished a design, it was tested against all Flame Types. Once it was responded to a particular Flame type, the three simply nodded, labeled the Box Weapon correctly and moved onto the next design.

But the oddities didn’t stop there.

Every Box Weapon was produced the same way. When testing was originally done, every animal summoned was exactly the same, not variation appeared. But as soon as the Box Weapons started being sold, the type of animal, its appearance would change depending on the user. The same Box Animal passed from one person to another would result in an animal that was just slightly different. A different coloration of fur, the slant of the eyes, the perceived gender of the animals are more.

Clearly the Flames of each person was the key variation here, but the how and why left Koengi, Innocenti, and Verde stumped.

Flames were Flames. There had been countless tests and studies that revealed that a Flame from one person to another didn’t vary at all. Lightning Flames were always Lightning Flames whether it came from Verde or another user like Levi. The composition of the Flames didn’t change regardless of the source.

So why were the Box Animals changing?

None of this had anything on the mystery that was the Sky Flames’ impact on Box Weapons.

Verde threw an absolute fit the first time they discovered it, back in their early testing. There was no logical or reasonable explanation as to why Sky Flames could open any Box. In fact, that reason had skewed their initial testing. They had been wrongly under the impression that the first several dozen Boxes they had produced were Sky Weapon Boxes as they were first Flame tested against. It turned out they were in fact other Flame Types and that Sky Flames could open it regardless of the Flame Type the Box Weapon was keyed to.

There was an old theory that Sky Flames were composed of all Flame Types and maybe that explained why Sky Flames could open up any Box. Perhaps it was just the harmony factor at work, resonating Sky Flames with the Box Weapon and unlocking it.

Either way, it was a theory that couldn’t be proven. Koengi muttered, Innocenti lamented, and Verde threw yet another fit.

And then there was Natsu.

* * *

If they stopped to ask Byakuran, he would have told them.

Byakuran was, after all, a genius in his own right. No one realized that beyond his ability to view into the parallel worlds for solutions, Byakuran was able to not only take the knowledge but to apply it. He knew how to manipulate it, how release it slowly.

Koengi, Innocenti, and Verde’s breakthroughs were because of him. A paper here and there, with just the right information that could lead them to the right conclusions.

Byakuran would have told them he was an expert at Box Animals and their unique quirks.

After all, he was the one who originally invented them.

But then again, no one thought to ask Byakuran.

* * *

Tsuna was… slow on the uptake.

It wasn’t completely his fault. Some of it could be chalked up to his own personality (perhaps some of Nana’s airheadedness was a touch hereditary). But some of it was due to his own stunted social growth, a childhood of being friendless and with Nana being the way she was, a different frame of ‘normality’ that Tsuna could use to compare and contrast to.

(Tsuna grew up with an absent father and a mother that was not all that there. He just didn’t get certain things. The concept of family was a foreign concept and it wasn’t until he met Tsuyoshi or listen to Haru talk about her parents that Tsuna got the sense of a family was supposed to be like. It was a concept he liked and sometimes Tsuna looked at Takeshi and Tsuyoshi and couldn’t even begin to comprehend why Takeshi wanted to give that up. He would never mention it, but to this day Tsuna did not understand what drove Takeshi to that roof that day. The more people spoke about family to him, the more Tsuna liked the idea, so why would Takeshi ever want to give that up?)

Once Reborn entered the picture, he shook Tsuna’s world upside and due to his chaotic nature and molded Tsuna’s frame of references into something else.

So Tsuna was slow on the uptake, but he did _eventually_ notice.

Here he was, sixteen and reeling from not only from his high school finals but Reborn’s surprised Italian test. Natsu sat in his lap, purring contently when Tsuna looked, really looked at Natsu.

Natsu who looked more like a cartoon than a normal animal.

Natsu who was still a cub despite the time that had passed.

There was nothing logical about Box Animals. There was no one in the future who could tell them anything about it. It was more pressing to defeat Byakuran at the time. And in the present, despite the numerous studies that had gone into it, the Verde of now couldn’t tell them much more.

Natsu looked out of place among all the other Box Animals. If Tsuna strained his memory, he could even remember a distinct cartoon lion from his childhood that reminded him of Natsu.

It was… childish.

Tsuna didn’t know how to feel. The way he understood it, Box Animals were a reflection of yourself. That was why Natsu manifest violently when Tsuna had first attempted to open him, letting his anxiety rule him.

So what did it say about himself that Natsu manifested as a childhood cartoon character?

Then quietly, a small part of him wondered, was it really so bad? Why did he have to change himself? Or was he refusing to grow up?

“Ara~ you two are so cute,” Nana said, passing by. She ruffled Tsuna’s hair, giving him a wide smile.

Tsuna looked up at her, trying to puzzle out her words. He wondered, briefly, what she saw when she looked at him. Her cute Tsu-kun? Was that a parent thing, seeing your child as a cute baby no matter how old they got? Tsuna glanced at his reflection in the window. He was sixteen and his limbs were awkward and long. He was taller than he was two years ago and even his face was slimming down. He was looking less like his mother’s roundness but nothing like his father’s gruffness.

Tsuna curled his fingers through Natsu’s mane and slowly, ever so slowly, began to wonder.

* * *

Tsuna was seventeen and his high school graduation was only a month away when the reality of his future hit him hard.

He was going to become a mafia boss.

The realization struck like a bolt from the blue, an occurrence that happened not because of someone said or something that happened, but randomly as if everything had neatly lined up and for the first time Tsuna saw with clarity.

He was going to become a mafia boss.

Natsu (still a cub, still a cartoon character) sat on his shoulder, mournfully mewling at him. Tsuna sank to the ground and really, really, really thought about it.

He was going to become a mafia boss.

There was no changing his mind, there were no other options. This decision had been made when he was fourteen, sealed in blood when Tsuna won against Xanxus. It was already decided that Tsuna would be going to Italy for his eighteenth birthday. Ryohei was already there, pursuing his medical degree, Hibari traveled between both countries. There were plane tickets and college plans. Nono was already sending more responsibilities, small ones, harmless ones, to just get his feet wet, paperwork that had to be processed, contracts and business accounts that needed to be reviewed.

He was going to become a mafia boss.

Tsuna let loose a sound of distress. He never- no. It was- no. _**No**_.

“I don’t regret it,” Tsuna whispered to himself, to Natsu. He didn’t. He didn’t regret doing what he had done the past three years. He had friends, he had a family. Meeting Reborn, finding his Guardians, despite everything, the fighting, the broken bones, the fire that refused to stop burning, it was worth it. Tsuna earned his happiness through his sweat, blood and tears.

But it was leading down a dark path.

Actions had consequences. Tsuna may have only wanted to help, may have only wanted to protect, but this was the price.

He was going to become a mafia boss.

Conceptually, he knew what a mafia boss entailed. He shadowed Nono last summer, knew being a mafia boss was less murder and more like running a shady business. There was paperwork that rival mountains and while there was always a current of danger, it really came down to the money.

Still. This wasn’t what Tsuna ever wanted in life. He didn’t want to become a mafia boss. Maybe it wasn’t as dangerous as he thought it would be, but it was still dangerous. Maybe he could hold onto that childish promise he made to Giotto, to make Vongola better. Maybe not.

‘But,’ a cruel voice taunted in Tsuna’s head, ‘Where would you be without Vongola?’

Tsuna hated the fact that he couldn’t imagine his life any differently. No Vongola, no Reborn, no friends, no direction in life. He would just be Dame-Tsuna, useless and worthless.

He cried because there was nothing else he could do.

He was going to become a mafia boss.

(It would take Tsuna three days to realize that Natsu was too big to sit on his shoulder like he used to.)

* * *

If Tsuna had asked Byakuran, Byakuran would have told him. He would have smiled a sad smile, mourning what his fellow Sky mourned.

He would have told Tsuna that the number of dimensions that Tsuna became Vongola Decimo was fractionally small.

He would have told Tsuna that Tsuna would never remain just Dame-Tsuna. He would have told Tsuna that there are countless dimensions where Tsuna goes on with his life happily. He would have told Tsuna that he would have been an amazing elementary school teacher, leaving no child unhappy in his classroom or that he would have been president of a large conglomerate. He would have told Tsuna that he would have found love, in a man, in a woman, in _someone_ , and there were always children, by blood or not.

He would have told Tsuna that he was _**happy**_.

“The number of parallel universes where you are not happy are either linked to Vongola or with events you cannot prevent, like an earthquake taking your life too young, or your mother remarrying someone abusive,” Byakura would have said.

“Perhaps you would have not have the friends you have now, perhaps you would have never met Reborn, never met your Guardians, never met Dino, never met the Varia or Vongola, but you would have forged your friendships, given time. You would have found your family. You would have found your happiness.”

“You’re a Sky, Tsunayoshi, one of the most powerful,” Byakuran would have said; his purple eyes would have glint with mischievous wisdom. “People would have been drawn to you like a star guiding them home.”

“If only you would walk away.”

But Tsuna didn’t ask Byakuran.

* * *

Yuni was five and her favorite question in the world was ‘why’. Tsuna did not blame her. Compared to his rather bland childhood, she was certainly having a magical one. If Dying Will Flames aren’t something that dazzled her, then the colorful personalities of everyone around her certainly do.

There was never a dull day in Vongola.

“Tsuna-nii,” Yuni asked, tugging on his pants.

Tsuna put down the form he was reviewing to give her his full attention. “Yes, Yuni?”

She held out Natsu who she had been playing with. Natsu stretched, hindpaws dangling just off the floor, a bit longer than Yuni was. “Why is Natsu so small?”

“Ah,” Tsuna said. Yuni had been on a Box Animal crazy. They were her favorite animals and Aria was often forced to bring her over more often because Yuni had decided that Vongola Box Animals were her favorite.

And of all the Box Animals here, Natsu was the second smallest. The only one smaller was Roll and with Kyoya’s Flames he spent enough time larger than any hedgehog had any business being. Even Uri spent less time as a kitten, choosing her more graceful full grown version these days, walking in stride next to Hayato.

Natsu was still looking like a lion cub, still looking like a cartoon character. He wasn’t as small or timid looking as before, but still fairly young. If he had been a real lion cub, Tsuna would have thought he was a nine-months-old cub. Certainly not small, but nowhere near full grown either.

“Because he likes it that way,” Tsuna said.

Still the mysteries of Box Animals persisted. Hayato, Shoichi and Spanner all joined Verde in his quest to understand and they were still unfolding more mysteries. Certain Flame Theories were reconfirmed or shattered and remade.

Natsu continued to baffle the four of them.

Logically, there was no reason for why Natsu still manifest as a cub. If it was tied to emotional maturity, then Tsuna was frankly insulted. He was going on twenty and while he still had some growing to come into, he knew how far he had come from that scared fourteen year old who just received Natsu.

Tsuna was growing, as a person so Natsu who was his reflection should be growing too.

But while Natsu was marginally bigger, he wasn’t that much older.

The other Box Animals, they grew. If not in physical size, then in age. Kojiro looked more like a bird of prey these days and Jiro went from a small pup to full grown dog. Gyuudon was still big enough that Lambo could still ride him.

(Tsuna wasn’t jealous. Really.)

Natsu remained young.

“But why?” Yuni asked.

Tsuna wished he had an answer for her. He didn’t understand any better.

He reached out to pet Natsu, hearing the soft purr. “I don’t know, Yuni,” he said. “Natsu likes what he wants and if he wants to stay that small then it’s his choice.”

Yuni frowned, unhappy with his answer.

But Tsuna didn’t understand either.

* * *

If Yuni asked Byakuran, he would have told her a cheery story about animals and feelings. There was some truth to Box Animals being tied to emotional maturity, but how emotional maturity manifested, that was different.

Just like how everyone’s mental images of a particular animal varied from person to person, emotional maturity was defined just a little differently to each person.

“Imagine different but same animals?” Yuni would have asked.

“Yes~ Why don’t you tell me what you think of when you think of foxes?” Byakuran would have asked. He would have handed her a copy of Eletrro Volpi, pressing it into her hands.

“Like Colulu and Widget!” Yuni said. Her small, but still strong Sky Flames would have flared and there smaller but slightly different copies of Colulu and Widget would appear. They would lack the green glow of Lightning Flames but retain a bright yellow fur.

“Wao~” Byakuran would have said. He would have taken Elettro Volpi from her and insert his own Sky Flames. And there white foxes with red markings and multiple tails manifested. “When I think of foxes, I think of white kitsunes. So see, same Box, but different interpretations.”

Yuni, being five, would have frowned in confusion.

Byakuran would have laughed, gently patting her on the head. “You’ll understand one day,” he would have said.

“Why is Natsu so small?” Yuni would have asked.

Byakuran would have smiled. “Because Tsunayoshi’s heart is soft because he wants to remain young at heart, because he wants to never lose that naviety, because he never wants to change himself.”

“It’s a slippery slope.”

Yuni wouldn’t have understood, but all the same, it would have never occurred to her to ask Byakuran about it anyways.

* * *

Tsuna was twenty four and felt like ninety. He was crowned Decimo three years ago, an act that terrified him, shook him to his core. Timeoto stepped down, retired, an event practically unheard of in the mafia.

Tsuna hadn’t stopped mentally screaming since that night.

It wasn’t enough.

It was too much.

Reborn prepared him. Tsuna knew what he was getting into, what he had signed his name in blood when he was fourteen. Because actions have consequences and he couldn’t imagine his life any differently.

He had his friends, his family, to support him.

They made each day a little more bearable than the last.

There was less killing, there was progress, there was more paperwork and Tsuna wasn’t so much as drowning as aimlessly adrift. There was clarify, there was confusion, there was swelling of tides, waves riding so high, ready to crash down on him.

“Kufufu, you look tired Tsunayoshi.”

Tsuna blinked, looking at up. “Mukuro,” he breathed out, wordlessly. Natsu sitting in Tsuna’s lap stirred, his mane flickering, illuminating Mukuro.

“You’re back,” Tsuna said with a smile. “Was everything alright?”

“You underestimate me,” Mukuro said with a smug smirk. “I made them weep for their crimes. Truly, scum of the world. They deserve to burn.”

Tsuna was slow on the uptake, but eventually he did notice. Everything neatly lined up, providing a startling clarify, an echo he heard once, in the past.

“Do you even want to be here?” Tsuna asked. “With Vongola?”

Mukuro gave him a curious look. “I’m barely apart of Vongola as it is. Whatever do you mean?”

“That’s not-” Tsuna sputtered. “I mean, apart of the mafia. You once swore you would burn the mafia down and…” He squeezed his fists tight, remembering how hurt Mukuro was when they first met, remembering the stories of human experimentation that Mukuro threw at him, remembering the sinking feeling that this was the reality that Tsuna was up against, the bloodstained history of the mafia that he was drowning in.

“I brought you back to this nightmare,” Tsuna whispered. “And I didn’t realize it. Did you want out?”

“You’re sending me away?” Mukuro asked.

Natsu let loose a whimper.

Tsuna flinched, catching the brief look of hurt on Mukuro’s face before it had been wiped away.

“No, not like that,” Tsuna said hurried. “If you don’t want to deal with the mafia, in any form, I don’t want you to force yourself to stay here. If you want to go live in the city in America or go back to Japan to live in the mountains, if you want to be a civilian, I want to offer that. Because… because…

“Because being here, in Italy, walking alongside the criminals you hate, turning yourself into someone you don’t want to be, I want you to know that you don’t have to stay, if you don’t want to.”

Mukuro’s eyes narrowed. “Is this about me or about you?”

Tsuna reeled back as if struck. Natsu let loose a small growl.

There was truth in Mukuro’s words, a reflection that Tsuna did not want to face.

Mukuro leaned over Tsuna’s desk until their faces were inches apart. He was searching for something, but what, Tsuna didn’t know.

“I will not repeat this and this will not leave the room,” Mukuro said flatly.

Tsuna mutely nodded.

“I told you once that I had been reincarnated six times when I received this eye.” Mukuro touched the cheek below his right eye. “I doubt you realized the consequences of that back then.”

Tsuna frowned. It meant that Mukuro had lived six lives- oh.

He smirked. “Yes, six lifetimes. I’m centuries older than you. Those lives were many things. I’ve seen things worse than the mafia, worse than the human experimentations I've been subjected to. I’ve lived as a civilian, growing into an old man. I’ve raised children, I’ve murdered children. Six lifetimes worth of experience.

“Over a decade ago, I made a vow to destroy the mafia and rule the world. It was idealistic and foolish, but I was reeling from six lifetimes of experience, hurt and angry, lashing out at the world. My defeat at your hands, even that long stint in Vendicare, allowed everything to settle.”

Mukuro’s eyes glittered with something in the moonlight that Tsuna couldn’t place. “I could have easily left once I had broken free. Instead I came back, to you.”

Tsuna stared at him with wide eyes. “Mukuro?”

Mukuro gave a dramatic huff. “Must I spell it out for you, Tsunayoshi?” he teased. “You are the Sky I choose to follow. I will continue to do so, until I’m unhappy with the man before me.”

Tsuna felt his jaw drop.

Mukuro merely smirked. “Now where is that burning conviction of yours, Sawada Tsunayoshi?”

(Natsu was smaller, able to sit back on Tsuna’s shoulder. Still very much a cub, still looking like a cartoon. Tsuna just didn’t understand at all.)

* * *

“If you ask me,” Byakuran would have said, picking up Natsu, “you’re both Tsunayoshi’s greatest weakness and strength.”

Natsu would have mewled a questioning noise.

“His heart is soft,” Byakuran would have said. “It is why he would have thrived anywhere but the mafia. That sort of bloodstained world would have dragged him down, tainting him. It isn’t because he lacks conviction to follow through, but hurting people is something that isn’t in Tsunayoshi’s nature. But thanks to Reborn, thanks to his friends, Tsunayoshi will always carry forward. If it is necessary he will kill, especially if it’s in defence of his friends. But it always breaks him.”

Natsu would have whined softly, mournfully crying.

Byakuran would have smirked, humming with knowledge that no one knew but him. “You don’t change your shape because unlike the others, Tsunayoshi knew, even at age fourteen, the type of person he was, the type of person he wanted to be. In fact, your minimal changes suggest a type of strength, that no matter what life threw at him, no matter how the mafia dragged him into his world, he has not wavered at his core. He is older, wiser, more experienced, but deep down inside, he is still that soft boy who grew up on lion cartoons as a child.”

Natsu would have looked up at Byakuran with wide eyes. Byakuran would have given him a fond pat.

“Unlike the Tsunayoshi my counterpart faced, the one who was willing to fake his own death and hurt his Guardians, the Tsunayoshi who broke, our Tsunayoshi is still the boy that believes in second chances and in happy endings. He’ll carry forth with the conviction to fulfill the promise he made to Vongola Primo and he will succeed.”

Byakuran would have smile sadly this time. “If you ask me, Natsu, I hope you remain this young forever because it means Tsunayoshi’s convictions will have never shattered.”

“But then again, I supposed you didn’t ask me.”

* * *

Change, they said, was inevitable.

Change, they said, was a good thing.

Change, they said, was what make us human.

Change, they said, was a part of growing up.

* * *

Tsuna was twenty seven and for once, he entertained the notion that maybe, just maybe, he would live past his thirty birthday.

He surpassed the age of his future counterpart, lived without Byakuran going crazy, survived the chaos that was Vongola. He made progress, slowly, surely, in cleaning up their dirty acts.

His hands were stained with blood, that much was unavoidable, but he had his friends, his family, he could breathe just a little easier with them so close. Danger loomed, but he could do this.

He could.

Natsu curled around his legs, never venturing too far but watching the room with wide curious eyes. It was a Vongola party, celebrating, well honestly, Tsuna wasn’t sure what they were celebrating but no one was going to pass up food and wine. There were plenty of people, it was noisy and loud and Tsuna was content to watch from the sidelines. He gave up trying to stop them, choosing instead to watch them have their fun.

“Dame-Tsuna.”

Tsuna allowed himself to grin. “Reborn,” he said. His former tutor now turned adviser stood, back at his former age. It was annoying that Reborn was now taller than him, despite Tsuna’s own growth spurt.

But even Tsuna could see the joy Reborn was hiding, happy to return to his former adult size and life. They had come a long way together, from baby tutor and Dame-Tsuna.

Tsuna may resent where he ended up, but there are just as many reasons as for why he was grateful for his life.

Reborn tugged at a strand of Tsuna’s hair, looking close. “You look tired,” he said. “I leave for a week and you somehow look worse. I would have thought Antonio would have forced you to sleep.”

Tsuna couldn’t help but roll his eyes. Reborn had no one but himself to blame for Tsuna’s workaholic ways. He remembered being able to sleep past nine as a child and these days, he was up with the sun because there was so much to do.

Antonio was Tsuna’s butler slash personal assistant. He did the minor tasks that Hayato couldn’t be bothered to do, the small everyday things like fetching Tsuna coffee or filing away the papers. Tsuna already overworked Hayato enough. Hiring Antonio was the compromised they came up with.

Given that Antonio was a lanky man, awkward limbs in a way that Tsuna had long grown out of and none of the imitation that Reborn wield like a weapon, it was arguably laughable that Antonio did anything convincing to get Tsuna to rest.

Because again, Reborn instilled in Tsuna that incorrigible work habit and then had the decency to complain about it.

“I live in terror of the damage you would have caused if you came back to find out the paperwork wasn’t done,” Tsuna remarked dryly. He had no wish for remedial lessons after all.

“Is that your way of saying that you missed me?” Reborn asked, smug.

Tsuna always did. Reborn spent so much time beside him, that his few trips that took him more than a day away from Tsuna’s side were rare. The only reason why they had split this time around was a scheduling conflict. The opportunity could not be passed, but Tsuna couldn’t leave, and Xanxus was still wrapping up his own business. That left only Reborn, the only one with the right infamy, the right weight, to attend in Tsuna’s place.

Sometimes Tsuna hated the way Reborn molded his way into his life, into a permanent crutch that Tsuna couldn’t live without. Sometimes he was too grateful for the support that Reborn, ever free, always wandering, chose to settle down by his side.

(Tsuna spent most of his current life loving and hating everything. He had no idea what to make of it.)

But Reborn, like his friends, didn’t appreciate the sappy emotional honesty that Tsuna felt thrumming in his heart. So he went with something more witty, more sarcastic and Reborn truly was a terrible influence on him, wasn’t he?

“No, I’m a workaholic and you’re to blame,” Tsuna sniped back.

“Just for that, I will turn in my report late,” Reborn answered.

“Don’t you dare.”

Tsuna had long trained everyone to be efficient with their paperwork. Reborn was the quickest, but after him, Chrome ruled as the Paperwork Queen which was remarkable given that she also did Mukuro’s just as fast. Tetsuya did Kyoya’s and the only thing stopping Hayato from being the fastest was the sheer amount of work he insisted on taking on, despite Tsuna’s frequent protests. Ryohei was good at it and his busy schedule was the only slippage. Takeshi and Lambo were, however, mostly lost causes.

Squalo was still Tsuna’s favorite because Squalo delivered all of Varia’s paperwork in a neat and orderly fashion.

The only issue was, despite the efficiency, there was just that much paperwork to go through. Undoing all of Vongola’s sins was a long process and while Tsuna felt like he was making progress, turning them into a better, newer direction, it felt like an endless task.

(Some days, Tsuna could stomach looking Nono in the eye. The older man had been nothing but a grandfatherly portrait to Tsuna. But the more he dug, the more he read, the more frequently Tsuna would go get trashed with Xanxus because Xanxus was a goddamn saint for not killing his father.)

(He knew what Xanxus did and even that long trail of blood was just drops in the crimson red sea that was Nono’s reign.)

(Tsuna couldn’t even stand to be in the same room as Iemitsu.)

“Please don’t turn your report in late, sir,” Antonio said, appearing out of nowhere with a cup of coffee.

Tsuna could see the challenge in Reborn’s eyes and mentally sighed. Well there was room in the budget for Reborn to go a little crazy with chaos this month.

“A lost cause, I’m afraid,” Tsuna said. He took the cup of coffee that Antonio was offering. (Coffee, yet another thing Reborn influenced him on.)

He took a sip, frowning as something tasted a bit off.

What happened next was a blur.

There was a flash of silver, Reborn shoving him aside and the scent of blood.

His head spun, something dangerously messing with his senses. His Flames, always warm beneath his skin had gone cold. Natsu was howling, the room had gone silent.

The only thing Tsuna registered was Reborn, bleeding, and Antonio, trusted Antonio, holding the bloodied knife.

Tsuna screamed; Natsu roared.

* * *

Later, much later, Byakuran would look at Tsuna with an unreadable expression and tell him that Natsu transformed. A full grown lion, mane alight with Sky Flames, looming larger than Tsuna, larger than anyone in the room, looking every bit of a lethal predator.

“Maahes,” Byakuran said quietly, gently with something akin to pity.

Tsuna, when he looked up that name, read the legends of the ‘God of War and Protection’, saw the title of ‘Lord of Slaughter’, ‘Wielder of the Knife’ and ‘Scarlet Lord’ and would sink to his knees.

This, Byakuran would tell him, even though no one had asked him.

* * *

But here and now, Tsuna’s world was on fire.

Because Tsuna was always willing to protect his friends, willing to die for them, willing to jump in front of bullets for them, willing to shelter them.

But _Reborn_ was **different**.

Reborn stood by Tsuna’s side for more than half his life. Reborn gave everything to Tsuna, took everything away. Tsuna’s life was better and worse for it and he didn’t know what he would do without Reborn. Reborn was the sum of everything in his life, the good and the bad and Tsuna loved him, hated him, and Tsuna could not live without him.

(If anyone asked Byakuran, he would have told them that this was how he always won against Tsunayoshi back in the dimensions he was trying to rule. His target was never Yuni and the Arcobaleno Pacifiers though it was an added bonus. Reborn’s death **always** broke Tsunayoshi. That was what happened when you gave an attention starved boy someone who believed he could do better.)

(But no one asked Byakuran.)

Reborn never needed protection and few even dared to consider it, but here was the situation at hand.

Reborn was always the line in the sand.

Tsuna’s fury raged and raged, batting the walls. His Sky Flames poured out, lighting the room in a sea of orange flames. Burning brighter and brighter, hotter and hotter.

Hyper Intuition was not infallible. It was a closely guarded secret but those with _patience_ could worm their way into Tsuna’s heart, blinding any negative warning that Hyper Intuition would have given because Tsuna would have trusted them, would have believed them.

Antonio, six years trusted, had taken advantage, had hurt Reborn and that was a sin Tsuna would not, could not, forgive.

“Impossible,” Antonio said, hands still shaking, covered in Reborn’s blood. “The drug should have sealed your Flames.”

“Antonio,” Tsuna roared. Natsu echoed. Power rang, vibrating off the walls, the might of Vongola Bosses singing through the Vongola Sky Ring. Tsuna’s Sky Flames raising higher, scorching the ceiling.

His eyes, now orange, glitter with a deep seated rage, a wrath that even Xanxus could not compare against.

The all consuming desire to hurt, to kill, because nothing would satiate him until blood was paid in return. Violence for violence, an eye for an eye, because Antonio dared, DARED, to harm what was under Tsuna’s protection.

There was nothing more Tsuna wanted than to turn Antonio to ash, to wipe him off the face of the earth, to leave no trace behind. His Sky Flames swirled, condensing, folding and building.

He wanted him dead.

HE WANTED HIM DEAD!

_HE WANTED HIM DEAD!_

_**HE WANTED HIM**_ -

“Dame-Tsuna.”

Tsuna’s world quieted. There was Reborn, holding onto Tsuna’s arm tight, Sun Flames wrapped around his chest, healing the chest wound that had come so dangerously close to Reborn’s heart.

“As if this would kill me, Dame-Tsuna,” Reborn said with that stupid smug look.

Then quietly, gently, softly. “Calm down, Tsuna.”

Relief bubbled over and everything collapsed.

* * *

Tsuna woke to the comfort of his own bed. There was Natsu, still a cub, still a cartoon, curled next to him, the Flames of his mane warm.

“You gave everyone a scare, Tsunayoshi.”

Tsuna looked up, blinking to see Byakuran at his bedside. That was… odd. While Byakuran was a treasured friend, a fellow Sky, a part of the same Trinisette and bounded to Tsuna in a way that his Guardians would never understand, it was strange that it was Byakuran at his bedside and not Reborn or his friends.

“Everyone is safe,” Byakuran reassured him, his words missing the teasing lilt. Seriousness was so strange to witness on Byakuran but Tsuna got the feeling that it was mostly for his comfort, for his peace of mind. “Reborn is fine.”

The tension drained from Tsuna.

“Your Guardians are handling the damages and rooting out if there are anymore traitors. Antonio has been dealt with,” Byakuran continued. “Your tutor was a little damaged, but between his Sun Flames, Ryohei, and Shamel, he was back on his feet hours ago. You’ve been sleeping for two days.”

Tsuna felt his jaw drop open.

“What happened? Why did I collapse?”

Byakuran gave him a puzzled look, something closer to disbelief. “You’re asking me?”

Tsuna blinked. “Yes?”

Byakuran smiled, looking deeply amused. “Do you know why Natsu looks like a cub?”

“No.” Tsuna was slow on the uptake, but he did eventually notice. “But you do.”

“Verde was right when he said the Box Animal’s growth was tied to emotional maturity,” Byakuran said. “Most people define that as something tangible, a growth, or aging. As you grow older, you grow wiser. This is why all your Guardians’ Box Animals grow.”

“Natsu doesn’t grow,” Tsuna said. “He’s gotten a tiny bit larger, but he still looks like a cub, still looks like a cartoon character from my childhood.”

He ran a hand over Natsu’s fur as Natsu shuffled closer, purring.

Tsuna had accepted that Natsu wasn’t going to age or grow any larger.

“He is a reflection of your heart,” Byakuran said. “Your soft and squishy heart. While you were young, you unknowing defined yourself before you even received Natsu. While your Guardians were, still are, growing up and defining themselves, you have always had the conviction and compassion you needed.”

“Natsu doesn’t change because you’re unshakable, Tsunayoshi.”

Tsuna didn’t feel unshakable. He nearly lost Reborn, nearly snapped. What was unshakable about that?

“I don’t understand,” Tsuna said.

“It’s fine if you don’t,” Byakuran said. “Just continue to be you, Tsunayoshi.”

Tsuna looked at Natsu, looked at the soft curves and kitten sized paws. The roundish features and large eyes that looked better suited on a cartoon. A lion cartoon, just like the ones he used to watch as a child, trying to grasp the meaning of pride.

Maybe… maybe… Byakuran had a point. Maybe it was okay that Natsu looked like a cartoon cub. Maybe it was a silly childhood notion that Tsuna was still subconsciously clinging to. Did it really matter that Natsu still look like this? No. Other people might laugh, his friends might despair, but Tsuna liked Natsu like this. If Natsu was a reflection of his soft heart like Byakuran said, then _**good**_.

They were Tsuna and Natsu. Natsu and Tsuna.

They were comfortable enough in their own skin.


End file.
